Why I Struggle to Grow: The Things I Can’t Let Go Of

I like to be a work hero. A work mule. I think a lot of people can relate to the feeling. Hustle culture glorifies it—the early mornings spent writing blog posts, full mornings pounding out cold calls, late nights finishing paperwork. Take every call from every client.

It feels good to solve people’s problems. It’s satisfying to walk around the office, puffing my chest out like Borat, declaring myself “King of the Castle” because of how I handled minutiae.

But it’s not scalable.

And I don’t like letting go.

Yet, I know it’s the answer. It’s in every self-help book, every business book, every podcast.

Build a team, they say. Focus only on your ideal clients. You are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with.

Blah. Blah. Blah.

Can I tell the truth? Doing these things sucks. I know it holds me back, and yet I still have trouble letting go.

This is me in mind, the work superhero

The Things I Hold On To (That I Know I Shouldn’t)

I Want to Be the Answer for Every Client

It doesn’t matter where they call me from. Kentucky? Sure. Maine? I don’t have a license, but let me check if we can get one.

Startup? No worries. You have big dreams? Me too.

But here’s the truth:

Working every lead slows me down.

For a lot of people who call me, I’m the best answer for them. That’s a good feeling. But that doesn’t mean they are the best answer for me.

For another group, I’m the best answer they have right now, so they want me to engage.

But I won’t be the best answer forever, and they’re still probably not my ideal client.

There is a small group of people for whom I am the best answer now and for the long term. That’s where I should focus all my energy.

But that means relinquishing the short-term high that comes from winning a deal.

Solution: I need to set clear guidelines for myself on accounts and disregard everything else.

I Want to Hang On to Every Account

I have some really bad accounts.

They don’t pay their bills. They have claims. They are clingy and call my cell phone when they have problems. They avoid working with my customer service team. They send me cryptic messages at odd hours asking for phone calls. They make irrational demands to cut costs and threaten to call other brokers.

And yet I hang on to them. I don’t want them to leave. I look at the paycheck, and it’s hard to let it go.

I know my customer service team hates them, and yet I want them to gut it out.

I understand that these customers take up 90% of my headspace when they should get 0%. Yet, I let it happen anyway.

Solution: Fire bad clients. Make room for good ones.

I Like to Be Involved in Every Detail

I want to process every change for my clients and be aware of everything happening with their accounts.

Certificate requests come in, and I want to be copied on all of them. Renewals happen, and I want to be copied on the correspondence with customers to ensure it meets my specifications.

I don’t like the email my customer service team sends to start the renewal process, so I want to rewrite it.

These things pile up on my desk. I stay late to make sure they meet my specifications, yet by 5:30, my brain feels like mush, and I can’t think critically anyway. So it takes twice as long.

I know the answer is to trust my team. They have processes they follow. I’ve helped them develop those processes. I need to trust that they will execute the plan we built together.

Solution: Build a good team. Trust them to execute the plan we developed together.

I Struggle to Let Go of Friends Who Don’t Understand My Goals

I have friends who think the best work-life balance is working as little as possible.

I get lunch with them sometimes. They tell me about their daily schedule. They walk their kids to school every morning, then pick them up at 3:30. If things are going poorly, they take a nap in the afternoon. If their calendar is empty, they go outside and garden.

When I tell them I don’t want to cut work on a Friday to go golfing, they get upset. They think I’m not making time for them.

I like these people. They make me laugh. They make me feel good.

But they don’t understand my goals, and they question my lifestyle.

Why get up early? Why work late? There are other, better things in life.

At least, that’s their perspective.

I know the answer is to surround myself with people who have already accomplished what I want to do, but it’s hard to let go of friends who bring me joy.

Solution: Pick your friends wisely based on what you want to accomplish in life.

Conclusion

For the record, for the purpose of this blog post, I made it sound like all of this is happening right now. That’s not the case. These are experiences I’ve had throughout my career. It just sounds better to use a first-person narrative.

I have experienced all of these struggles at some point and had varying levels of success in addressing them.

I still struggle to set minimum thresholds for accounts. I think this might be my greatest weakness.

I love my friends and have a terrible time letting go.

I’ve gotten better at firing bad clients.

I think I’ve improved at building a team and trusting them to execute a strategy.

But there are always new levels to reach. What I am today could still be better tomorrow.

If only I could say no to the things that hold me back.