Ambition is Good, But Too Much Will Drive You Crazy

I don’t know about you, but I find the hardest thoughts for me to wrestle with either hit me at 4 am or a random Tuesday afternoon at 2pm.  Those are the times when my brain is cycling through everything I haven’t done and haven’t accomplished.

The paperwork that isn’t finished.

I didn’t hit my 40 call mark today.  I made 0 yesterday because of meetings, so now I’m really behind.

I didn’t have any success cold calling today.  Does my script suck?  Have I lost my touch?

Is my largest client going to leave me?  People are going to think I’m a joke if that happens.

Do I work too hard and neglect my family and friends so that I’m going end up alone?  Why do I care about that stupid blog and YouTube channel so much?

Those thoughts don’t just float in and out of my brain.  They stick around for days if I let them.  I cycle through them in different variations constantly.  I’ll try to redirect my brain with movies, or books, or being with friends.  It’s a way to create a distraction, to keep my brain away from the thoughts its center.

It’s not all bad.  These thoughts are what fuel me to accomplish large goals.  They are reminders that something hasn’t been finished.  Feeling finished can create a sense of complacency. 

But there are drawbacks to drawing on this sense of constant incompletion.  As I think about it, it’s a lot like Rand from The Wheel of Time drawing on the Source.  For those of you that are unfamiliar with the book series, In The Wheel of Time there is a sect of sorceresses called the Aes Sedai that can draw on a magical power call the Source to heal people, move things, and general magic stuff.  The Source for Men has been corrupted by a sorcerer from a long time ago.  In the book it’s described as a taint.  The Source gives great power, and over time, it causes the man to go insane.

I think drawing inspiration from your deficiencies and shortcomings is a little like that.

It’s a great short-term boost.  It’s motivation to accomplish something great.  But it leaves me focused on everything that I do wrong.  And it never stays isolated in one part of my life.

Rand Al'Thor harnessing power from The Source

When I start thinking about what I do wrong at work, I start thinking about what I do wrong as a dad, and as a friend, as a husband.  And then everything in life can become tainted.

It hit me this Tuesday that I need to remember to recenter myself.  So I decided to write about it.

Here are three ways I’ve found to help me recenter myself.

1.      Writing

Sometimes, for me, the best way to recenter is to write about it.  There’s an old Seamus Heaney poem called “Digging.”  He’s an Irish Poet, and he describes his grandfather digging potatoes.  At first, it seems like he has nothing in common with his Grandfather.  After all, his Grandfather worked in the fields digging up dirt to plant potatoes, while Heaney was a poet.  What could be more different?

But the poem concludes with Heaney saying

“Between my finger and my thumb

The squat pen rests.

I’ll dig with it.”

What he’s saying is that writing is his version of digging.  It’s his way of finding truth, making a living, and requires the same kind of backbreaking work as digging for potatoes.

Writing is a crazy thing.  I think some people believe that you need to know everything you’re going to write before you start going.  That’s not how it works at all.

Writing works best when your thoughts start pouring out of you.  You start to learn what you actually believe by seeing what comes out on paper. 

It’s digging.

2.      Think in the Gain for a while, and be grateful

The Gain is a term from Dan Sullivan.  He describes the dilemma of an entrepreneur’s mindset.  They are constantly focused on what they haven’t accomplished yet.  They are constantly focused on the Gap between where they are today, and where they want to be in the future.

The problem is that once they reach that destination, all they can see is the gap between where they are, and where they want to be.

It’s like chasing the horizon and being dissatisfied when you never reach it.

He says it’s critical to pause and reflect on the road that you have travelled on for a while. 

When I do this, it’s not hard for me to swell with pride about some of the work that I have done.  I can look at all the blog posts and newsletters I’ve written.  I look at my videos and I’m proud of how much better they look even in the short time that I’ve been making them.

I reflect on how much better my sales process is, and how efficient I am in working that process.  I’m grateful for the book of business I have and the clients that I have. I’m grateful for my two kids and my wife.  I appreciate my town home with an attic roof deck so I can watch the sun rise while I write in the morning.

But for whatever reason, these thoughts are not the first ones that come to my mind.  I have to practice that gratitude.

3.      God and Meditation

One of the most poisonous parts of Gap thinking is that I get locked into a cycle of negative thoughts, and breaking outside of that cycle is incredibly difficult. 

Writing doesn’t always help because I’ll end up writing about the thoughts that are focused on that cycle of negative thoughts.

Gain thinking is good, but depending how strong my negative thought cycle is, my brain can tell me that it’s stupid and short sighted to think about anything positive when all these negative things are happening. 

“Don’t be naïve and try to trick yourself into contentment,” my animal brain will tell me.

When I try to force my way out of this negative thought cycle, the tactics I use – a glass of rum, playing video games, reading a book—are all temporary.  They don’t fix the underlying problem.

God and meditation work.  I’m a Christian, so you can understand my bent.  But for the purpose of this newsletter, I’m not particular about your stance.

The point is that religion and meditation are a practiced way of making you focus on something outside yourself.

Christianity has you focus on the sacrifice of Jesus Christ and his precepts.

Meditation has you focus on the breath flowing in and out of your body and how you feel physically.

They both help create distance between myself and what I’m feeling in any one moment.

And they are principles that never change.  They can function as a North Star in life, when everything else feels chaotic.

 It occurs to me that I should do a better job managing these thoughts. 

Conclusion:

It’s not perfect.  I’m no self-help guru.  I won’t even claim to be very good at using all these tactics to self-regulate.

But I’ve spent a lot of time writing about marketing tactics, sales tactics, and self-improvement.  It’s a lot of words spent describing how to be a hard driving sales and marketer.

Drawing from that source too much makes me go insane. I’m sure it does the same thing for you.

Make sure to fill yourself up from other sources. 

Write a little to let it out.

Think in the Gain to remember that you’ve come a long way.

Meditate on something outside of yourself to give your life perspective.

Life doesn’t have to be all about achievement, all the time.